Long time no update

Well, it's been an eventful few weeks. Here's the skinny. I started the new job, it sucked, I quit, and I am now looking for a new job.

Got all that?

The personal life is a bit more complicated. Sweetie and I are doing okay, but there are some things still bothering me. I don't know what to do about it. Sorry that sounds so cryptic, but I am kinda down at the moment, and I don't want to go into it all. Maybe I will write more later.

My first day

I'm home now, but really exhausted. I left the house at 7am this morning, and got home just before 6pm. I drove an hour out of city traffic into my hellish suburban traffic and made it back to my apartment, only to realize the only leftover in my fridge is Spanish rice. Not cool when you don't feel like cooking. It's a huge change from my former job in pretty much every way.

The Good
I have my own office on the 44th floor. That, in and of itself, is swanky.
My name is already on said office door. That feels good.
I was treated as a total professional today, and I get the sense that's how this place operates on a daily basis.
I have Monday off for MLK Day.

The Not-so-good
My former 10 minute commute on backroads is now an hour in traffic or 35 minutes in traffic and a scary walk to the train station
Everything is expensive in the city. This includes lunch.
I won't be home until about 6:30 most nights. I'm used to getting home at 4:15. How will I function without Dr. Phil?

So I'm back to the land of the working folk now.

Hair Drama Part Deux

After forking over nearly $350, my hair is better. Not back to normal, but better, and thankfully, blonde. As superficial as it sounds, I need my blonde to function. It's part of my identity (Hello, BLONDE Suga....) Nothing against my brunette buds, but I just can't do brown.

Now it's Saturday night, and Sweetie is in the shower. We had a long talk on Wednesday about the sex issue, and I am so unsure about the whole situation. Something just doesn't seem quite right, even though he assured me he is totally attracted to me and loves sex when we do have it. I need to resolve this soon, as it's starting to really bother me. I told Sweetie I would stick it out and wait for him to figure things out, but he's going to have to start working on it soon. I can't wake up and go to bed every night essentially alone, even when he's right next to me. It just hurts too much.

Speaking of... the following song is especially applicable right now.

Beautiful Disaster

He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He’s as damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain’t right.... It just ain’t right
Oh and I don’t know
I don’t know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
He's magic and myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight...Hold on tight
Oh cuz I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
I'm longing for love and the logical
But he's only happy hysterical
I'm waiting for some kind of miracle
Waited so long....So long
He’s soft to the touch
But frayed at the end he breaks
He’s never enough
And still he's more than I can take
Oh cuz I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
He’s beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster

Hair drama

Ugh...today's been a real doozy. I went for a cut and color this morning, and my colorist convinced me that my hair really needed to be darkened and then highlighted because it looked too light. So he darkened it, and it is brown now, with a VERY subtle blonde highlight. It's almost Jennifer Garner brown. Yes, that dark. He told me to go home and let it sink in and get used to it.

Well, I left there and wanted to cry. After looking at it more in the mirror, I decided that, even if it faded, the color is still WAY too dark for my comfort zone. Just to be sure, I washed it 3 times, and it's still too dark. I called the salon, and I am going back in at 5:30 for more highlights. I'm really disappointed, because I was so looking forward to a great change and now I am having to run around and will probably tick off my colorist, but what can I do? This dark color is so not me. I am a blonde. I think I'll be finding a new salon, too. I know it's not their fault. The color is quite pretty....just on someone else. It just embarrasses me that I ended up hating it so after forking over $215 to get it this color.

Cross your appendages that they are able to give me back my hair.