The official plan

I am going to give notice on 12/20, after my stock option transaction is complete. 12/30 will be my last day (12/31 is a company holiday). I'll start my new job on 1/10.

Okay, sounds lovely, right? HA. There's more. Boss is out 12/28-12/31. My one co-worker is out the whole week of 12/27-12/30. The other is out 12/27-12/29. If my last day is 12/30, I think I am sufficiently screwing them work-wise if I really slack off that last week when I am basically here alone.

I don't think it will come to that. I think she will let me go 12/23, right before Christmas, in a feeble attempt to ruin my holiday. I will laugh, tell her to suck a dick, dance a jig, and saunter my booty right on out the door to enjoy the holidays with my cats, loved ones, and stock money.

BTW, want to hear Boss's latest asstastic comment? Now that I am on my way out, these are kind of funny, because I see how she is trying to get my goat. Not that I have a goat, mind you, but you know what I mean.

We were looking at the holiday party pics, and one of a co-worker and his wife popped up. This was her comment: "She's a technical writer over at XYZ. She applied for the editor position, and I think he's irritated at me that I didn't bring her in. The truth is, she was wayyyy overqualified [insert scrunched up face here] and I just couldn't pay her what she was worth."

Interesting, considering she told me I was underqualified. I can't wait to see her face when I tell her I got a much better position as an editor and that I interviewed with my tongue ring and they couldn't care less. There are no words for the amount of unadulterated hatred that flows through my soul for this waste of cellular material. I need to be free!